Tonight I lie in my bed wide awake thinking about my time in Arusha since I arrived 11 days 6 hours and 30 minutes ago. I am trying to put into words how I'm feeling right now.
It's a mixture of love, sympathy, frustration, excitement, gratitude, pain, and happiness. All the negative adjectives can be explained by both what I've seen at the hospital and the surrounding cultural environment.
I finished another night shift at the hospital tonight. We all had a productive night of learning and growing, as we always do.
I felt love today when I held a little boys hand as he received a 5% dextrose IV drip. The little guy was suffering a hypoglycemic coma. He had been rushed into the hospital by his mother who feared she was going to see her son die.
I felt sympathy for the mother who wouldn't even let go of the 7 year olds hand, not even to grab her phone to answer relative's calls or get a drink.
I was frustrated when I was told a patient from gen med wasn't going to get the medications she needed simply because the family refused to get them. Especially because those same family members treated other med students and I terribly upon the young girls arrival into the ER Wednesday, stating the urgent need of attention to her situation.
I am excited to embark on a 15 mile hike around Mt. Meru tomorrow.
I am extremely grateful… for countless reasons. I am grateful for the small: being able to sleep on a mattress. I am grateful for the big: the chance to be here in Africa exploring a new culture each day.
It pains me to have to see the economic snuggles of a a 500 bed regional hospital... because I know if they had more money and more equipment that could serve the sick better.
I am happy. Happy to be breathing, living, and smiling.
Goodnight world.
Xo
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